Male Danger Signals

There are times when even your so-called "normal" male can turn into a rapist. Then there are many men who, unfortuneately, tend to be naturally more sexually aggresive. BE AWARE AND CAUTIOUS OF MEN WHO:

• Tend to ignore or not listen to what you are saying. Generally speaking, this type of male has little respect for women and can easily hear "NO" as "maybe" or "convince me".
• During conversational express anger towards the female gender. These men can and often will get hostile if a woman says no.
• Takes it on himself to make all the choices as to what to do and where to go without asking your opinion.This individual is most likely to determine whether or not you're ready to have sex with him.
• Tries to make you feel guilty or accuses you of being "old fashioned", "uptight", or not in the main stream when you resist his sexual advances.
• Acts overly possessive, jealous, or feels that women are meant to do man's bidding.
• Drinks heavily or does drugs. These men will often get sexually aggressive, angry, and/or violent if rejected.
• Does not consider rape as a crime of violence. This individual is primarily motivated not by sex, but by his desire to control and dominate.
• Cannot differentiate between the desire for affection and the desire for intercourse.

In conclusion, no woman deserves to have her body used or abused, and the right for self-preservation does exist.

Written by: Frank Shilosky

Rape Part 3

A woman can often become a victim of rape from the time she gets into a man's car, meets him at his hotel room, or accepts an invitation to have a night cap at his apartment. She can be trapped and rapped in an upstairs bedroom while thirty plus people are partying on the first floor of a frat house.

Unfortunately, drugs and alcohol can and often do play a significant role in date or acquaintance rape. Too much of either can result in a situation where a woman, before she realizes what's going on, can find herself being a victim of rape. On the other hand, even if the female has not been drinking or doing drugs, but her male companion has, he can all of the sudden become physically and sexually aggressive. Sexually aggressive men are basically insecure and when they rape their victim it is not a crime of passion or the result of miscommunication. It does however make them feel strong and in control. This is very typical of the reassure me and/or ego type of rapist.

Moral and sexual standards in our society have plummeted during the past four decades. Female have become more sexually active at younger ages and the birth control pill has been a major factor in this increase. Sexual activity between college men and women is at an all time high. Many college-age men expect sex if they have spent money on a date. If they know the woman is sexually active, they feel they are entitled to their share.

Mixed signals between a man and his date are another area of concern. Friendly conversation by the woman may be interpreted as an invitation for sex. "No", no matter how emphatically stated can be construed as "maybe" and in some cases the man is under the delusion that when a woman says "no" she really means "yes". Sometimes a woman may be unsure of how far she wants a sexual relationship to go. Her enjoyment of kissing ans caressing may be her limit. The man then feels cheated, rejected, teased, and misled. He wants satisfaction and the result is RAPE.

Written by: Frank Shilosky

Rape Part 2

When the word rape is used, most women think of a stranger jumping out from behind some bushes, maybe the back seat of their car, or climbing through a bedroom window and violently attacking their victim. Well ladies, you are partially correct. But in reality, most rapes are committed by men who know their victims. They may have gone out with them or may even be considered a friend. I call this date or acquaintance rape.

Date or acquaintance rape is very common in our society. Experts estimate that as many as 90 percent of all rapes are never reported and of those reported, approximately 60 percent of the victims knew their attacker. Their ages were from 15-25 years old. (The National Center for the Prevention and Control of Rape quotes 90 percent of adolescent rape victims said they were acquainted with their attackers. Reported in Newsweek, April 9, 1984.) Remember non-consensual sex of any kind is a violation of your body and is considered by law as an act of violence. It does NOT matter if it's someone you have dated a few time or are even engaged to. NO is NO!

Approximately 7000 students on thirty-two college campuses as surveyed by Mary Koss, a professor at Kent University, in 1985 revealed that one in eight women were victims of rape. One in every twelve men admitted to having either forced a woman to have intercourse through physical force or coercion and admitted to raping or attempting to rape a woman. However none of these men identified themselves as rapist, yet only 57 percent of the women who have been raped labeled their experience as rape. The remaining 43 percent did not even acknowledge to themselves that they were raped. (As reported by Ellen Sweet, "Date rape-The story of an epidemic and those who deny it", MS magazine dated October 1985, pg. 56) Date rape occurs on college campuses large and small, public or private, big city or rural. It makes no exception.

Fortunately, the majority of the male population are not rapist, but there are some that are. Unfortunately, it will not go away. Hopefully, forthcoming articles will attempt to convey to you what to watch for, why and how it could happen, and various measure of avoidance and/or defense.

Written by: Frank Shilosky

Rape Part 1

How serious is rape?
Our judicial system classifies rape right up there with murder and conciders it a major crime. A victim of rape not only has to cope with the traumatic physical and psycological effects which can be quite severe, but also AIDS, herpes, and other types of sexually transmitted diseases. Remember that there are different types of rapists (covered in previous articles) ranging from the reassure-me to the sadistic, who won't stop until you are dead.

How common is rape?

1. In 1992, the national Victim's Center stated that 13% of women had been raped and 21-38.5% of teenage girls had reported some form of non-consensual sex.
2. Who are rapists? MHSLS data depicts the following:

• 22% of the women had been forced sexually at some time in their lives
• Someone the woman was in love with 46%
• Spouse 9%
• Someone the woman knew well 22%
• Acquaintance 19%
• Stranger 4%
• Only 2.8% of men admitted forcing sex

Experts estimate that as many as 90% of all rapes are never reported and of those reported, about 60% of the rape victims knew their assailants. In one study by the National Center for the Prevention and Control of Rape, 92% of adolescent rape victims said they were acquainted with their attackers. (Reported in Newsweek, April 9, 1984) Of those women, the majority of the victims were 15 to 25 years old.

Written by: Frank Shilosky

Rapist Profiles Part 3

DATE/ACQUAINTANCE RAPE

About 70% of date and/or acquaintance type rapes, the attacker builds trust with his victim. He may be a relative, a close friend, a friend of a friend, work associate, neighbor, salesman or even a lover or fiance. Over 50% of this form of rape happens in the victims own home, and usually because of embarrassment, are not reported. Such rapists will generally repeat this pattern of trust with other victims, and at times, even the same woman.

• Limit your trust on a first date, especially if the date has resulted from the singles bar scene or an open party.
• Know what your sexual limits are, and communicate these values early. Sending mixed signals of a sexual nature can very often invite or create a problem that you may regret.
• Maintain control over your environment. Do not go to out-of-the-way places or to a man's home or even invite him to yours on a first or second date. If you feel uncomfortable, unsure, or have any doubts, trust your gut instinct and leave. Call a cab or a friend for help. Trust your gut feelings about your date's moral make-up.
• During early dating minimize your alcohol consumption, and drugs of any kind are a no-no. Often times abuse of these substances are an invitation for trouble. The latest drug, GHB, alias "Easy Lay", if unknowingly slipped into your drink, can have catastrophic results. It renders you helpless. You are knocked out, you will not remember anything, an worse, you can go into a coma.
• Be extra cautious and avoid dating men who get hostile, display anger or tend to over drink or are using drugs. Remember that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

Regardless of what profile rapist is encountered, a victim MUST realize that survival depends on her ability to react with the viciousness of a lioness protecting her offspring.

Written by: Frank Shilosky

Rapist Profiles Part 2

I recognize how emotionally and physically scarred or embarrassed a victim of rape or assault may feel, and their attack often goes unreported. However, the victim of the sadistic rapist, as profiled in this article, usually results in high media coverage as the victim often ends up in the hospital and at times, in the morgue.
Unfortunately in today's society women must face the ugly reality of possible sexual assault, and must be re-educated as to the various options of survival.
The following one-liners profile the most violent and dangerous type of rapist that a woman may encounter.

"ANGER" RAPIST

• Intends to injure, sees all women as bad and in need of punishment.
• More often than not will carry and use a knife or impact weapon.
• Expresses his anger and rage prior to and during the sexual act.
• Often has conflict with the women in his life. Transfer his anger by assaulting other women.
• Lives in a sexual fantasy world of controlling/dominating women.
• Often unskilled, minimum education, heavy drinker, easily frustrated.
• Attacks suddenly, violently and retreats quickly.
• Will use excessive force to minimize victim's resistance.
• Rips clothing, grabs harshly for areas of sexual significance.
• Use abusive, degrading and humiliating language.
• Will shock victim with physical action rather than intimidate verbally.

"SADISTIC" RAPIST

• Hostilities are carried out by victim domination by inflicting mental and physical pain.
• A weapon carrier, usually a knife. Will attack suddenly usually physically striking his victim.
• Performs violent and degrading acts, often to areas of the body of sexual significance.
• May keep his victim for lengthy period of time performing bizarre and ritualized behaviors.
• Use brutal and often times deadly force.
• Attacks acquaintances and strangers alike.
• Surprisingly may be financially stable and outwardly appear well adjusted.
• Becomes more sexually abusive with increase victim suffering and will increase his violence to heighten his sexual arousal.

By: Frank Shilosky

Rapist Profiles Part 1

In order to survive a physical assault or rape, it is to the victims benefit to remain as calm and alert as possible. The following one liners profile the traits and attitude of the least violent type of rapist.

"EGO" RAPIST

• Very self-centered, believes himself to be the irresistible stud.
• Does not regard rape as serious.
• Seeks to overpower and control his victim through intimidation and force.
• Regards women as objects for his sexual pleasure.
• He is an opportunist and will strike as situations arise.
• May very well tell his victim he is the best she has ever had.
• Tell either the victim or police that she loved it and asked for it.
• Rarely responds to pleas for sympathy.

"REASSURE ME" RAPIST

• May feel sexually inadequate or impotent as a man.
• Seeks to control through verbal threats. Not known to use physical force.
• Fantasizes that his victim once forced will share intimacy during the sexual act.
• Needs much verbal interaction with his victim
• Verbally directs his victim's level of participation, which may include helping him get and keep an erection.
• May well appologize, or ask for a future date after raping his victim.

This writer recognizes how quickly fear and panic can set in, especially if the victim has been slapped around. However, remember in order to provide law enforcement with as complete a discription as possible of your attacker you must stay as calm and alert as possible.

Written by: Frank Shilosky